Sunday, June 3, 2012

Looking and Falling


You said look for you in a rainbow,
That that is a sign you're okay,
But i havent seen one in a while,
i hope your okay Mom,
I miss you alot everyday,
The worst part is when someone doesnt realize your gone,
They say ask your mom for this or that,
I cant, but i wish i could you have no idea,
you were taken to soon and it feels like you've been gone forever,
Its only been a year and a half and it feels as if im living in another world,
I miss you more and more everyday but i know your with me each step of the way,
Sometimes it feels like I've hit rock bottom with no hope of getting out,
Its tough sometimes, i struggle through the day trying to be happy but failing,
Im tired of pretending everything is fine and okay,
But you said i have perseverance and you have faith in me,
I dont want to let you down but you once said i could never let you down,
To be honest i feel lost in a crowd of people,
Im surrounded by noise and people but im alone,
My mind is clouded by darkness and im alone in silence,
I appear happy but im not and i question when,
How do i get out of this darkness i know there is a dim light somewhere,
But im searching in darkness and its like im blind,
I dont know anymore, i need to clear my head somehow,
but everything is a question when i think i have the answers,
I continue to question things, I dont know anymore...
Im full of doubt and fear, i hope for things to be better
But sometimes all hope is gone,
Thats when i feel like ive broken and im shattered into a million pieces
Everyday i put everything back together but the jaged pieces create imaginary scars,
I dont know anymore, how i cant get out of this whole of black,
I'm in free fall and i dont know when i'll land and that scares me the most.

Friday, June 1, 2012

Memories Flying Past


As I stare out this car window things are flying past,
Like a memory one recalls to feel happy or safe,
The trees consumed by darkness in a second,
The dark stormy rain clouds capture the sun and hold it as prisoner,
The sky begins to cry and eventually it just has a breakdown,
Millions of tiny rain drops fall hurriedly from the sky like they are running from something,
The rain creates a peace and you can hear nothing but silence as the rain falls in its heavy loud patter on the window,
Racing down the window like they are trying to escape a horrid beast of some sort,
Scared to face the reality that they might not escape rather get caught,
The sun is trying to get through the dark clouds trying to escape and longing to be free,
The picture before me is a type of madness,
Everything rushing by and things getting caught and trying to escape many things,
I guess this describes our world, the human world,
The car is now on a dirt road full of rocks and pebbles,
Mud splatters everywhere as the tires race through a puddle,
The car gets stuck, I myself am trapped,
I get out and run till I’m far up the road in the middle of nowhere I still feel like I’m trapped,
I recall a memory of a warm summer day in July, where everything seems perfectly fine,
The laughter of the past is haunting my present and my future,
It now seems as if the whole world has gone mad and you’re just someone trying not to turn insane,
What if you change? What would happen?
You wouldn’t be the same person you are now, or would you?
It’s hard to stay the same in any situation because anything can affect you,
This is when you have a chance to be a better person or turn evil,
No matter what you need to make a choice whether it’s right or wrong depends on your actions following it,
As the rain slows, the sun escapes the clouds and the trees appear again,
I’m no longer in a state of confusion,
Rather I’m at peace with myself ready to take on the next challenge thrown at me,
Life and every incident and memory of the past has taught me something that I can apply to the future,
So I’m ready world, go ahead and try to break me down, try to make me hit rock bottom,
But you should know that I will never shatter.